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Family reunion planning: the checklist and the cost split

A month-by-month checklist you can print, a calculator for what each household should chip in, and a way to get an exact headcount by household before you book the food.

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How do you plan a family reunion?

Start about a year out. Pick a planning crew, list every household, poll for a date, and agree how costs get split. Book the venue and send a save the date 6 to 9 months ahead, the invitation 3 months ahead, and lock the headcount a month before.

Family reunion planning checklist

Seven stages, from the first date poll to the thank-you note. Print it and tick things off, or hand a stage to each cousin.

  1. 12 months or more out

    • Pick a planning crew: one lead and a contact in each branch of the family.
    • List every household and the people in it. This list drives the headcount, the budget, and the invitations.
    • Poll the family on two or three date windows, and work around school calendars.
    • Set a rough budget and agree how costs get split: by person, by household, or with help from a family fund.
    • Shortlist places: a park pavilion, a church hall, a relative's farm, or a rental house.

  2. 6 to 9 months out

    • Book the venue, plus a hotel block or rental if people travel in.
    • Send a save the date to every household with the date, the town, and lodging notes.
    • Name one person to hold the money, and collect deposits early if the venue needs one.
    • Decide on food: a caterer, a potluck, a cookout, or a mix.
    • Pick a theme or a T-shirt design if you're doing one.

  3. 3 months out

    • Send the invitation with an RSVP deadline about a month before the event.
    • Ask each household who's coming, which days, and any allergies or mobility needs.
    • Plan activities for every age: games for kids, a group photo, and a family history table for the elders.
    • Open a potluck sign-up list if households are bringing dishes.
    • Ask for each household's share of the cost, with a due date and how to pay.

  4. 1 month out

    • Nudge every household that hasn't replied, and ask the maybes to decide.
    • Give the caterer or venue a headcount, and order T-shirts by size.
    • Confirm volunteers for setup, the grill, photos, and cleanup.
    • Share the schedule, address, parking, and what to bring.
    • Collect the remaining shares and settle deposits.

  5. The week of

    • Confirm final numbers with the venue and whoever's doing the food.
    • Buy supplies: plates, cups, ice, coolers, trash bags, sunscreen, and a first-aid kit.
    • Print name tags, a schedule, and a family tree or photo board.
    • Check the weather and settle the rain plan.
    • Send a reminder with the time, address, and parking.

  6. The day of

    • Arrive early to put up signs, tables, and shade.
    • Set out name tags and a sheet for updated addresses and phone numbers.
    • Keep cold food cold and hot food hot. Put leftovers away within two hours, or one hour above 90°F.
    • Take the group photo early, before anyone leaves.
    • Hand cleanup to a crew so the hosts get to enjoy the last hour.

  7. After the reunion

    • Share one photo album and ask everyone to add theirs.
    • Thank the planning crew and anyone who covered extra.
    • Send a short money summary: what came in, what went out, and any balance.
    • Update the household list with new babies, partners, and addresses.
    • Pick the next host or date window while everyone's still talking about this one.

How much should each household chip in?

Add up the budget, take off anything already covered, and split the rest by person or by household. The example is a 12-household reunion: change any number.

What the reunion costs
Total budget$2,100

A family fund, a sponsor, or what the hosts cover.

Left to split$2,100
Who's coming

Pay a reduced share

Babies and toddlers

How to split it
Split the cost
Each kid pays

Each household's share

$60per adult or teen

$30per kid· little ones free

$2,100 ÷ 35 shares: 28 adults and teens and 14 kids at half a share.

A couple · 2 adults
$120
A family of four · 2 adults, 2 kids
$180
The average household
$175

The shares already land on round numbers.

Get the headcount right first

The budget and the shares only hold if the headcount does. These are the three places it usually slips.

Count households, then people
“The Johnsons are coming” could mean two people or seven. Ask each household to name who's coming, so kids and little ones land in the right column.
One answer per household
When three relatives from one house reply separately, someone gets counted twice. Let one person answer for everyone under their roof.
A deadline before the vendors' deadline
Set the RSVP date about a week before the caterer, venue, or T-shirt order needs numbers. That week is for chasing the last few households.

A headcount by household, in Hejmo

Add each household and the people in it, and Hejmo gives every household its own private link. Text or email it, or post one shared link in the family chat.

Whoever opens a household's link taps Yes, No, or Maybe for each person and leaves a note about arrival day or allergies. Nobody makes an account, so it works for Grandma too.

Your dashboard keeps the running total and shows which households haven't answered, with a ready-to-send nudge for each. Plug the yes count into the calculator above and you have the shares.

More on household RSVPs on the family reunion invitations page, and what to put in the invite in the invitation checklist.

Example reunion guest list: two households attending with notes, one not replied yet.
Reyes family reunion
  • The Johnsons
    Maya, Leo, Priya, baby Ana
    4 attending

    Driving in Friday. Priya has a nut allergy.

  • Grandma Rosa
    Rosa
    1 attending

    Bringing the tamales.

  • The Nguyens
    Minh, Linh, Kai
    No reply
Total confirmed5 attending · 3 no reply

Copy this to ask for each household's share

Clear about the amount, the deadline, and what it pays for, so nobody has to ask twice. Swap in your details and send.

Reunion update! Our budget covers the pavilion, food, and activities, and it works out to [amount] per adult and [amount] per kid. Babies are free. Please send your household's share by [date] to [name] through [payment method]. If the cost is a stretch this year, message me privately and we'll sort it out.

Questions

Common questions about planning a family reunion and splitting the cost.

How far in advance should you plan a family reunion?

Start 12 months out if relatives travel, you need a hotel block, or it runs over a weekend. A local one-day reunion at a park or a relative's house can come together in three to six months.

What should a family reunion checklist include?

A planning crew, the household list, a date, a budget and how to split it, the venue, food, activities for every age, the invitation and RSVP deadline, volunteers, supplies, and a thank-you and money summary afterward. The checklist on this page lays them out month by month.

How much does a family reunion cost per family?

It depends on the venue, the food, and how many days you run. Add up each line of the budget, take off anything a family fund or the hosts cover, and divide by person or by household. The calculator above does that math for you.

How do you split family reunion costs fairly?

Splitting by person is the most common: adults pay a full share, kids pay part of one, and babies come free, so bigger households pay more. Splitting by household is simpler and suits reunions where every household is about the same size. Many families also use a family fund to help relatives who travel far or are on a tight budget.

How do you get an accurate headcount for a family reunion?

Ask by household, with a name for every person. Give each household its own RSVP link, let one person answer for everyone in it, and set the deadline about a month before the caterer or venue needs numbers. Then nudge the households that haven't answered.

When should family reunion RSVPs be due?

About a week before your earliest vendor deadline, usually three to five weeks before the reunion. That leaves time to chase the last households and order T-shirts or food with real numbers.

Is Hejmo free for a family reunion?

Yes. Unlimited events, a private link for each household, RSVP tracking, nudges, one RSVP question, and a potluck sign-up list are free, with no ads. Plus is optional: $12 for one event adds invitation styles, illustrated covers or your own cover photo, an animated preview that plays in iMessage, a custom link, a custom RSVP confirmation, and up to five RSVP questions.

Start with the household list

Add every household once, send each its own link, and watch the headcount fill in. Free, no ads, and no accounts for relatives.

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